Tuesday, July 12, 2011

I've been away....

Hi everyone, I'm sorry I haven't posted.  The same day I posted on June 6th, my Mom went into the hospital.  I flew out Wednesday, arrived just in time for her to know that I was there.  She fell into a coma that night and passed away on June 9th.  I was there for two weeks, got sick, bronchitis then pneumonia.  Now going through Mom's stuff.  Every where I look I see 7 years of memories of her life with us.  So, I'm not the most upbeat person to be posting.  Slowly I can feel my spirituality coming back, glimmers of it.  I can choose to be depressed and go to a very dark place, but I won't go there.  When I'm sad, I cry.  Then I will play some Amy Winehouse or some old time Cuban conga music.  I am in the midst of packing up her things and ours since we are moving in August.  Posting may be intermittent, but I will be back sharing recipes and experiences.

Oh by the way when I was down there I went to a Spiritist center (not to be confused with Spiritualism).  My cousin is a Spiritist, and the week that we buried my Mom I went to a weekly Spiritist meeting my cousin attends.  Let's just say it was very cathartic.  Interesting to see the metaphysical/mystical side of Christianity.  Channeling takes place, spiritual healings.  Half of it I can't remember because I was in the center of the circle and my legs gave out, and I had to be held up by one of the female mediums.  I could feel the tears rolling down my face and sounds coming forth from deep inside of me.  My body moved to the sounds of the chants, Spirit spoke through the mediums.  I was aware of what was happening, never completely out of it, I know I could've stopped this at any time, but I felt this was good for me.  I felt that psychic blocks were being removed.  I was lead by the hand by one of mediums, Spirit spoke through him, he walked me around the entire circle and said this is your path, you must walk it.  It is the work of the soul, to grow, to heal yourself and others, all with the goal of enlightenment, acts of charity.  After things calmed down the female medium that was holding up said that I was a medium, and that I should try and develop my mediumistic skills.  Its as if you don't develop what your soul has come to do in this incarnation, you stunt your growth spiritually. I just know that I have never in my life have experienced anything like that.  I've visited this place before over 12 years ago, but I never participated. What I like about this place, they charage no money, everything is on a donation basis.  If you feel you have a bad spirit that has attached itself to you, they will channel that spirit and send it towards the light.  This is their act of kindness to you and to the soul that needs to move on. 

I was hoping my Mom would come through, but she didn't.  She has visited my cousin in a dream two days after she passed away.  In the dream she was laughing and happy.  She told her she didn't want us to suffer or cry.  She said she is fine, she already saw her mother and her sisters.  Then my sister had a dream with her last week, she was sitting in her living room, looking 20 years younger and again she was laughing.  She said look, I can walk, I don't need that walker anymore.  Visitations like this give me peace.  I know when I cross over she will be the first beautiful face I will see.

So, I'm going to end this for today, I'm getting sad and the happy music has ended on my Ipod.  Need to get that rockin' music going and cook something up for dinner.  Thank you for your patience.

Blessed Be.